Last night I was wondering about how good I am with listening to others… I thought about my parents as I think they were really good teachers when it comes to this subject. So I decided to post some photos of them and write a small reflection about listening…
In my opinion I listen to people quite good. I have to admit though that sometimes when I listen to others I can start to analyse what they are saying. I don’t think that this is not a very good approach. I shouldn’t be analysing what people say, I mean at least not all the time!.
By the end of the day it its most important what someone is saying, not what I think about it. Analysing means also, that your attention to what you actually say is not full.
Sometimes I catch myself that when listening to someone I am trying to hear only what I want to hear. Its something like selective listening, especially with people close to me.
During conversation with others I sometimes listen to others impatiently, I just want them to finish quickly, so then I can start talking what I really think about it, not necessarily criticize. I noticed that people love to give advices, they just love it. On the other hand, there are people who just love to hear advises, love to be told what should they do with their problem – well, it is much easier when someone tells you what you should do. You are lighter within yourself of all the responsibility someone else took….
So I decided to start be more attentive when listening to others. Practising an active listening skills gave me… I could say an extra awareness. Now I pay more attention to what is said to me. And while listening I try to ask myself: what is the speaker’s basic thinking message? What is the person’s basic feeling message?
“If you make listening and observation your occupation
you will gain much more than you can by talk.”